whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Enjoy the penises
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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