so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
