just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
