I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
