dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
