the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just want nice things and good sex
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
