I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
