Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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