Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
