Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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