Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
