i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
