Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
