I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
