After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize