Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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