Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
