I'm gonna have a badass scar
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
