I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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