never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
