Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
