I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
