so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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