no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
