We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
