moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Someone came in the potted fern
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
