it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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