You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize