He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
