this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
