he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
