Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
