You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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