can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize