thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
