Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
