I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
