I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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