Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
