How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
