you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
