Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We left the knife in your bed.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize