he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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