The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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