You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
