Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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