Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
