Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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