I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize