ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
