wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
