Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
