Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize