That's intense
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize