Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
