turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
