I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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