Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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