You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
