How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
