Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
