This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize