Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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