I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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