Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
