Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
