There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
