I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
