Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
this will be a night to untag.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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