Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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