I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
A+ Viking dick
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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